seagulls calling

I am really enjoying the Biden, Obama, and the Robot’s Flaming Tail of Obama’s gay enlightenment.

It is so obviously staged, that the writer and director deserve Tony nominations.  If only they would step forward and take credit for their work.

I know they meant the Romney bullying bit to be a negative, but instead it makes him human.  He was an obnoxious teenage boy.  Who would have thought it?!  I am shocked.  It is like seeing Pinocchio come to life.  Yes, I am crying…

Know what this is?  Yes, it is a deadly landscape fabric anchor.

Four years ago we got the bright idea to lay landscape fabric down the rows of the vegetable garden rows.  Anchors were placed every couple of feet to keep it in place. 

It worked great.  The fabric kept the veggies clean and the weeds out.

By planting time the following year, the fabric was disintegrating.  It would shred upon touch.  I pulled it up and threw away all the anchors.  Well I thought I got all the anchors.  The tillers found many I missed.

The next year, the tiller and my foot found several missed anchors.

Last year there were more found.  I began to suspect they had formed a breeding colony.

So far, this year I found five more. 

I swear I have found more than we originally used. 

Suggestion: If you are planning on using these deadly, sneaky anchors be sure to count them as you put them into the fabric.  At the end of the season make sure you remove the same number.  If you can’t find them all, tell your nerd neighbor that someone dropped a diamond ring out there.  Follow behind him and his metal detector.  Snatch up the anchors he tosses aside.

Our house was always full of kids and dogs.  Without conscious thought we would interpret to the neighbor kids what the dogs wanted.  For example:

Dog:  ahhrooh woof
Adult:  He said he needs a cookie.

Dog: woof woof woof
Adult:  She said she wants you to throw her toy.

One day a small neighbor child showed up at the front door.  She said she needed our help.  She had a new puppy and needed to know how to say “I love you” in dog.

After so many years, I don’t remember our exact response, but her sweet question still makes me smile.

I need a doctor with his or her ears, brain and heart connected and functioning thus, listening, thinking and caring. 

I need someone who can think beyond the standard textbook examples, fear of lawsuits and the ever present cha ching (sound of money).

MANY years ago I had a ruptured appendix.  I went to several doctors.  I complained that I was hurting, had a fever, etc.  I told them that based on the pain and symptoms, it had to be my appendix.  They firmly told me that it was among other things: imaginary pain, constipation, depression, and pain caused my husband’s oversized sex organ.  (They never inquired with me as to his size nor had anyone, to my knowledge, actually seen it.  If they had they would have realized their assumption was absurd.)

To add insult to injury, immediately after my ruptured abscessed appendix was removed, the surgeon cursed me out for not coming in sooner.  Yes, he used very bad words in a hostile manner; to a woman he assumed would be dead in a few days.

Well surprise, I lived.

Five years later, I endured a similar round of events due to a complication from the appendix mess.

To say I have no respect or patience with mediocre doctors who cop an attitude, would be a gross understatement. 

This week I was once again subjected to the condescending attitude that I have grown to love.   When the doctor strongly suggested that my severe pain should be treated with an antidepressant, I wanted to scream “I WASN’T F-ing DEPRESSED OR UPSET UNTIL I HAD TO DEAL WITH YOU!”  Instead, I nicely replied, “No.”  That was followed by her saying that she knew I wouldn’t like the suggestion.  She wasn’t saying I was depressed, etc.  Oh yeah, that helped.

I am beginning to think I should just swing a dead chicken over my head, under a full moon, naked in my back yard, yelling “CURSE BE GONE!”

They want crazy.  I can deliver crazy.

Please note that I am pretty good at pissed off too, but depressed is just not me.

A cute little boy about 2 ½ -3 years old was in COSTCO today.  He was edging further and further from his parents.  His father said firmly, “Get back over here.”  The boy stomped his foot and took off away from his father and towards me.  Before I could intercede, the COSTCO fire alarm went off.  The boy stopped, his eyes wide open in terror, turned around and ran crying to his father.  I laughed my butt off.  Shoot.  I laughed a lot, but the butt is still there.  Phooey…

Yes, the trellis is dreaming of the future neighborhood.  Right now he appears lonely, but soon the cute, little, pickle cucumbers will be crawling up and over him.  The two bell peppers will be trying to lay down from the weight of the produce.  The marigolds will be up and blooming.  And the weeds…  there ain’t no damn weeds!

We are going to a wedding in May, one in June and another in July.  Normally, I avoid weddings, divorce hearings and funerals.  Since being with Miguel, I have gone to more of them than ever before in my whole life. 

So what’s the problem?  I don’t own a dress.  I have a night shirt, but probably can’t get away with wearing it.  (Miguel is so fashion conscious, that he couldn’t tolerate that.) My only option is to go shopping, yuck.  Where do I start, Target, Goodwill?  I had a few outfits in mind, but two of them were pictured in the latest “People of Walmart” email.  Even I don’t want to wear something that everyone has already seen on a lovely, full figured woman with butt zits.

The other problem is how can I dress to please Miguel and not outshine the brides?  It is virtually impossible.   What is a sex goddess to do?

There is a lot of talk now about Federal government waste.  That is not news.  Government (federal, state and local) by definition means waste.

I worked for the State of Florida for almost 20 years.  Although they had a program to reward money saving suggestions, they preferred to waste money.  I could give dozens of examples of waste, but I will limit myself to just this one.

For three long years, I was a member of a monitoring unit.  Our job duties entailed spending a week in each of 11 districts throughout the state of Florida.   Our monitoring was a huge waste of time and money for several reasons. 

1. We reviewed hundreds of cases in each district using flawed methodology.

2. The district specific review results reports did not accurately reflect the severity of the errors found.  There was a definite political bias.  For example two districts could have very similar errors, type and number.  A favored district would be praised for it, while a district in disfavor would be harshly chastised.

3. We had a centralized, state of the art, computer system. The paper case files could have been shipped to headquarters and reviewed there in conjunction with the online cases.  The time and travel to review the cases in the local offices was a total waste of time and money.

4. Florida has a tourist based economy.  The prices of food, air fare, hotels, car rentals, etc. vary greatly by area and
time of year.  The panhandle is empty and cheap in the winter.  Central and south Florida are slammed and expensive then.  Daytona is packed in the spring.  Orlando is crowded in the summer.

My supervisor scheduled us to travel to each district  during the height of each area’s tourist season.  For example, we were in Ft. Myers during the Edison Festival of Lights.

In an effort to save the state money, I made a schedule, which would have had us traveling to each district in their off seasons.  We would have gone to the panhandle and the northern districts in the winter, central and south Florida in the spring, summer and fall.  We would have reviewed our local district in November and do no reviews in December.  It would have cut the base travel costs by about half.

When I gave it to my supervisor, she started shaking and ripped it up, as she sternly told me NEVER to do anything like that again.

I often wondered why she insisted in staying in above average hotels, flying when it was cheaper and faster to drive, etc.  She certainly showed over and over that she  had no concern for her staff.  One can only presume that she felt the more expensive her monitoring unit was, the better she looked.  Or perhaps it was the tingly feeling she got when marching into a local office with her minions in tow.  Whatever…  poof poof, be gone…

SquirmE had an ear infection.  For days he was really into cuddling.  He is feeling much better now.  The cuddling phase has passed. Over the last couple days he has been very busy, making up for lost time.  Among many other things, he locked himself in a bedroom, removed the handles from a cabinet, took pictures off the wall and baptized our remote in a glass of water, which killed it. 

You’d think I’d get skinny chasing him all day, every day, but no.

I am so tired.  It is 7:30.  I am wondering if I can stay awake until 8:00.   Probably not.

Pure sweetness taking a power nap …

Dear Republican Party,

Please stop forcing me into having to defend President Barack Hussein Obama.

Yes, he admitted eating dog meat in Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance.  He recalled being fed dog meat, as a young boy in Indonesia, with his stepfather.  So what, dog is a traditional food in many Asian cultures, as is cat.  

There are plenty of legitimate screw ups on his part.  Pick any one or fifty of those. 

Sincerely,
Moi

P.S.  Even if adult Obama had killed and eaten a dog raw, it wouldn’t change the fact that Mitt used poor judgment by transporting his dog in a crate on the roof of his car.  I’m sure he only did that because he couldn’t afford a pet sitter or to board it.  He didn’t want it starving to death in their absence.  You know how it is.   Maids can’t be trusted to feed the animals.  Additionally, the dog would have hated riding inside the car with the family. 

P.S. II  This 1964 picture shows President Lyndon Johnson lifting his beagle, Him, by his ears.  Him didn’t go nuts or try to bite anyone, so he must have been used to it and/or liked it.

 
P.S. III  When I was reading up on Obama eating dog, a dog food ad popped up on the page.  Too funny…  go Eukanuba!